spring madness.

it has started. it comes every year around this time. spring madness is what i like to call it, and i'm not a part of it.

which is fine, i don't think i want to be a part of it-but it is getting to me. friends getting engaged, dating, and having love interests all around them, it creates one of the loneliest feelings in the world for those not in it. it is reminding me that i am looking for things on this earth to make me happy, to fulfill my selfish desires, and the more i think about it and ponder it and talk about it, the deeper i go into loneliness. then i read this.

There are many such beliefs which must be removed-for example, that God removes a child because his mother loves him too much. That is the devil’s lie and a travesty on the true nature of God! If the devil can hinder us from taking the supreme climb and getting rid of our wrong traditional beliefs about God, he will do so. But if we will stay true to God, God will take us through an ordeal that will serve to bring us into a better knowledge of Himself.

i need to do this. obey God and trust him, knowing that he has this great love story out there for me, and when my heart is ready again, he will take me on that journey. I can't compare myself to anyone else, and I need to fully rely on God. Sometimes living in a house with 75 other women though gets to me. thats all i'm saying.