its like, you can never plan your life.

ok,

i have learned my lesson. i'll stop.

i had plans last year, graduate, get a job in this fun, new, exciting place, and start this new life, and be so not the person anyone expected me to be. take a leap of faith and just go somewhere not knowing anyone and go on this adventure. and those plans, nope. that did not happen.

i got a job in the one place i wasn't looking, i moved in with someone i knew, and in a city i grew up in. and i had all these new plans, to have a new sort of adventure... and then, just as i was starting to adjust its like,

woah, don't even think about it. ya know?

i know that life is always changing, and you are always going through times, good/bad/rough/exciting/new/same/etc... but sometimes, don't you ever think--life isn't fair. just flat out, isn't fair, not what you deserve, not what you expected, etc etc etc. but i am certain God put me right where i NEED to be, surrounded by the people who I need to be surrounded by. i have always felt so so so blessed by the friendships i have, and i am continued to be amazed by the support, love and loyalty of my friends. and I know that in these times when my plans are like way off then God's, he is just saying, dude(ette), let it go, i know what is best for you, and even if it hurts or is hard or is challenging or is not what you expected, I'm here, watching over you. Find peace, find assurance in that.

and this time, I am, and I hope that next time you are faced with some silly situation, or things don't work out perfectly, you just stop and think, maybe the plans i was making, wouldn't have worked out. and i still plan on having that new adventure, it will just happen, without my plans.

and the bible verse my dad made me memorize a couple years ago to get my christmas presents tells me just that, looks like it got me more then just christmas presents. it gives me hope and a future.

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

one week down.

friends,

i am now an adult

well kinda. i don't really feel like I am an adult until i start drinking coffee every morning, so i'm going to start. i'll let you know how that goes.

but my first week of work was successful! I really like my job! It is such a laid back atmosphere, and I think I will be kept busy most of the time. I have my own desk and computer and email and everything! the strangest thing is, at 5:00 (or 3:30 on fridays for a couple more weeks) you can just get up and leave. You don't have to be finished with what you are doing, you don't have to be dismissed by a teacher or anything, you just leave! It's so great. I take my lunch every day and somedays get up the courage to eat in the break room..and try to make friends. Haha. but i got this free cup today.

which i love. i know it's silly, but its a plastic cup with a plastic straw! I guess silly things get more exciting when you are an adult..or i am just still in college mode where anything i get that is free automatically goes up to the top of my favorite things list.

and this week i got to see brian. which was so great too. and smags my little sister is a kappa at arkansas!

so i started off my adult life with a great week. and it is weird not being back in manhattan, going to class but I LOVE IT. because school and tricia don't mix.

but working all day is tiring. and i go to bed very early every night. which is okay with me. for now.

thats all.

what I have been waiting for.

well, all the big things this summer have happened, I have moved, gone to weddings, visited texas, and started a new life in a city i have been in my whole life. but it is new and it is good.

and it is what I have been waiting for. Last year at this time, I was beyond excited to move into my own house for my last year of college. (Say it with me-- SENIOR YEAR) I had no clue what last year would bring, but I thought I was ready. I wasn't prepared for the Dark Cloud of Doom that lived over our house first semester. There were tears, anxiety, heartache and laughter. I learned a lot about trusting God during that semester, and it has brought me here today. I now city in my room in downtown Kansas City, ("The Hood" as my mother refers to it) which is the only place I knew I didn't want to be.. but randomly one night I applied for an internship here, and SURPRISE--God had other plans for me. He knows my heart, and he knows that this is the best place for me. Isn't God funny-- the one place I said I did not want to be-he puts me? But I have a peace about it. For the next year, at least. I am so excited to start working on Monday, waking up and having something to do, which has not been the case all summer. I can't wait to see what God has in store for me this year, what lessons he will teach me, but I hope and pray that I can just live like he wants me to. I can hear his voice and follow his leading. It will be an adjustment, it already has been, but it has been good. I hope the dark cloud of Doom doesn't return, and this time next year, I could be in a completely different city, and that is exciting--but I don't know what is going to happen.

all I know is that I am so excited to start work on monday.

and even more excited to see Brian after 9 weeks of him being in Africa.

Next week-will be a good week. I start life as an official grown up.

wish me luck.