a photo post.

so, it is christmas eve eve, and it's strange. it doesn't feel much like christmas, but I am still excited to spend the next week with my family and friends. But here is what has been going on in my life the past couple of weeks, brought to you by my iphone.

The sprint center game with my dad!, pullen-less. but still fun.

flowers at work! aren't they so pretty? so great, my friends are the best. i really am incredibly blessed.

stuff i made for a convention at work. success!

this is cale, he is holding boxers that say "Butt Quack". we picked them out for Ryan at the gift exchange at work. ryan had to leave early, so we were in charge of getting his present-he was a little dissapointed. most everyone else got beer.

cookie decorating in lawrence with katie and whit- it was so fun!

so that is what i have been up to, keeping pretty busy! i love my job, my roommate, and my life right now. I am focusing on the good in it, and know that when the time is right, God will send me on the next journey- to who knows where!

enjoy your holiday!

bottoms up to 2010

as i sit here, cuddled up in my favorite k-state sweatshirt (duh, it's winter, so i have it on all the freaking time), i can't help but think about the past year of my life. 2010. it had its ups and downs, like all years do- but overall, i can say that i learned a lot about who i am. i have now been graduated for 7 months, and i honestly have forgotten college life. it is so great to have a routine, and the weeks go by so quickly. i am learning SO much at work, and I get to do things i really enjoy doing.

while i am often envious of my friends back at k-state, that they get to go to games/all live within 5 minutes of each other, i am starting to realize that that chapter of my life is over. and the next one is just beginning. people around me are growing up, getting married, moving all over and becoming real functioning members of society.

in 2010 i went through joy, stress, heartbreak, unhappiness, confusion, and so much more. and i look forward to what 2011 is going to bring. there is so much unknown in my life, but when i think about it, the more i think about how God knows exactly what my life will entail. he knows what is going to come in the future, and he is preparing me for it with every life step i take.

and now i am watching the scene in chronicles of narnia and they are about to kill aslan. and it is such an incredible portrayal of what Jesus did for us. and it is beautiful.

peace out homeboys and here is to 2011.

this is just dang exciting!

so i did these ads for work- and they came up on Yahoo today! YAY!

boo ya.

get ready. be there.

www.NAIAhoops.com

life lessons?

to sum up my thanksgiving break, please refer to the october 19th post.

and also to say that "it is better to have 3 good friends, who know you, understand you, and get you, rather then a bunch of friends who don't know everything going on in your life."

the end.

FLASHback.

high school tricia.

college tricia

post college tricia. (kinda.. so to be honest, i have not taken a picture with my camera of me after college, but the picture to the right accurately depicts my current life.)

i am so fun. you wish you could hang out with me.

right?

just kidding. (kinda)

is it wednesday?

no it is not. but i am all confused because i worked on sunday. so no i don't even know what day it is!

don't worry, i'll figure it out.

my to-do list.

make a kick a website to get me a kick a job when i am done with my kick a internship.

figure out how to cook for 1 with left overs, and make something besides a peanut butter and jelly for lunch

stop watching the news, man that stuff is depressing

figure out how to get into the sprint center next tuesday night to watch k-state play

yeah i don't have much to say except i have been

busy, taking on new things, and starting to love the community around me. isn't funny that i told God i didn't want to be in Kansas City, and then that is where he put me and now i am meeting all these new people who like to do fun things?

what do i know-right?

so i'm sure whatever he has planned for me next will continue to amaze me.

and for all you non kansas city folk, check out this sermon

peace. love. turkey.

PlayNAIA: Smells Like Team Spirit Video Contest

pictures

so i often find myself on facebook.

shocking-right?

and while there, i start looking at pictures. and isn't it crazy how a picture can bring back a memory you totally forgot about? and then all the sudden all these feelings come back that you thought you dealt with? and just because that picture was there-now you are doubting where you are in your life emotionally. does this happen to anyone besides me?

and then you think you are fine..and then the "photo memories" come up of people you would rather not remember?

i wonder what life would be like without facebook. like, yes, i do remember life before we had it..but just think about all the things you wouldn't know about if we didn't have facebook. like-

what-she is working where?

or

what-THEY got married?

or

what-they broke up?

or

what- she is pregnant?

or

what was they thinking, that no one would ever see them doing beer bongs after they posted them on facebook and they would be able to get a job?

RIGHT?

i like seeing pictures of my friends..but i need to create an app that will just get rid of pictures you don't want to see because it brings up too many feelings.

so, i will leave you with this photo.. i don't know why i chose this one. so enjoy.

life after college.

well for all of you youngens who are still in college, let me give you a glimpse of what life is going to be like when you are out of there.

you make friends in high school, then you all go your separate ways and go on to college, and make new friends (and some are lucky enough to keep the old too) and then everyone graduates and gets jobs and then starts yet another chapter of life. and you have to make new friends...

while working. while cooking dinner every night. while paying bills. while doing all this other stuff that you forget about when you live in the bubble of college life, where everyone lives within 5 minutes of each other, and where you are only in class (if you even go) for like..not that long.

and then all the sudden, you have to adjust to working 40 hours a week..in a cube or office or whatever. and you realize that college didn't even prepare you for what you are doing now. you don't have any guidelines or due dates, you just do stuff. and you get stuff done if you know how or not..you just figure it out.

and in college, you forget that there are people older and wiser that are not professors.. and all the sudden they become your co-workers. and you are trying to juggle making new relationships while keeping up with your friends from the past..and it is hard. it is exhausting. but worth it.

i guess, just be prepared..life is hard. and its easy to think "oh after college, i will get a job, and all my friends will get jobs, and we will live by each other and it will be so great". because it doesn't really happen like that- people go where there is work- and even Kansas City is big enough not to see some of the people you love the most!

but don't fret- if i can make new friends- so can you! it has been an adventure, starting new with people- explaining salad bowl to them and see friendships forming right there! and getting involved in a church that is close has been incredible. and i am looking forward to all the relationships that will come from that- and all that God is going to teach me (and has taught me already).

and then i start thinking..ok, in 7 months, i will find myself unemployed. i will have the opportunity to go anywhere--but by that time will I want to? it seems so exciting to go somewhere big and fun..but then if i didn't know anyone there- wouldn't i get so lonely? would i want to have to start fresh and find new friends again? it's hard to do! so I can't think about it. I just have to trust that God has a plan for me, and it will work out in the end..and if it is hard, i will just have to remember "that in all things, God works for the good of those who love them" (Romans 8:28).

so, my advice friends- be prepared to make new friends, to start new relationships, and adjust to working. it's tough..and at first i was exhausted and just came home and felt like i would never have enough energy.. but you get over that and find yourself just as busy as you were in college.

and i'm sure once i have made all these new friends, God will throw something at me that I would have never seen coming--but that's why he is so great. because it will be exactly what i need.

ummm

what is in the water these days?

ENGAGEMENT MINERALS?

i'm just saying.

this one's for the boys.

so this was quite the week for me. and i have been thinking about writing this blog post for a while, and i am just getting around to it.

and to my girl friends- i love you and you are great but this post is not about you.

I guess I will start off this post with a glimpse into the life of tricia as a middle schooler. I longed for guy friends- i wanted to be friends with guys, not so i could date them but so i could just get to be around them. coming from a family with all girls, i never got to experience guys, and i wanted to in the worst way. You can ask my friends in high school- i always talked about having guys to hang out with, and they just called me boy crazy.

i love my guy friends. and i have realized this past couple of weeks how blessed i am to have them in my life. reasons why being friends with guys is so great.

• they listen (well i think they only actually listen half the time, but you can ramble on for a while i still feel like they care)

• they don't pick sides- if you are being crazy, they tell you. and they also tell you that you are not being crazy and are totally justified in what you are thinking.

• they convince you to do crazy things like drive to manhattan on a week night to see a football game.

• they look after you when you go out and will protect you from drunk sketch guys

• they let you cry* and don't ask question and just hug you when that is just what you need.

• they are so encouraging when you are being a girl and doubting that you are pretty/smart/ ever going to find someone to marry.

• they will sit and watch football all day. and the last saturday i was in manhattan, i realized how much i miss that.

• they also can provide you with hilarious views on things.

i guess, in summary i just want to say that i have had some of the best times when it is just me and the boys. so thank you for always treating me like a princess, always listening to my ridiculous life, and encouraging me when i need it the most. and i can't imagine my life without you- so future husband, you better be okay with hanging out with me and a bunch of other great guys.

fo real.

*not all boys have this capability...so if you find a guy friend that lets you cry. keep him around.

the library--such a deal!!!

so i saw the social network (which is SO GOOD.) this weekend, and Mark Zuckerberg started facebook by (kinda) wanting to get back at an ex-girlfriend. and then i started thinking about all these things about relationships and stuff and started to write a post.. but i figured no one would really want to read that. so you are getting something else--that is a little less intense/focused on relationships. (to sum it up, I refuse to think that the only place to meet people after college is bars..) the end.

ok. anyways. so a couple of weeks ago I was at work reading an article about tiger woods, as I so often do, (not because i go out there looking for them..they

are just always on ESPN!) but I think they are interesting, so I

read them- anyways, a writer for ESPN, Robert Lusetich started writing a book when Tiger came back from his knee surgery and how he was going to come back and if he would be the "same tiger". well we all know what happens..he didn't really live up to expectations (except he did have some great rounds that people forget about) and then we all found out he was living a second life. but the book was actually very good, and I learned a lot about Tiger. But that is not the p

oint of the story..

I wanted to read this book, but didn't want to spend the $18 dollars on it, so i applied for a library card.

i forgot how great the library is! they have all the books you want to read there- and it costs nothing! This is great for me and my budget! and since I don't have cable, I have been reading a lot more. so it is a win-win! so after my recent rediscovery of how much i LOVE elephants (pictured below eating outside of my office when they were in town for the Circus) my mother suggested a book called "water for elephants" about a vet student who stops going to school and joins the circus, I decided that would have to be the next book I read. (Which i just googled it and found out that it is being made into a movie! I am so on top of it!)

but i totally forgot about how great the library is, they have so many books/dvds/cds for anyone to rent! i guess when i think of the library all i think about is Hale (which is not a happy thought..except i hear they have an Einstein bros now-so manhattan--how are those delicious pumpk

in bagels?) and the other Library that sells booze. but now i am taking full advantage of the Kansas City Public Library. so if you have any good book suggestions- send them my way. but not twilight. i refuse to read that.

so, friends. visit your local library this week- pick out a good book, snuggle up on the couch and read!

take me back to when i was two.

remember when you were little and played dress up and make believe and thought everything in the world was great? i can't help but think about this while i babysit one of the cutest little girls in the world. she get so excited about everything, it is so great to watch. but when does that stop? when do you start realizing that there are people in the world that are just out there to make money and don't care what people think of them. when do you realize that all this emotional baggage you carry around is because of how you have been brought up and how people have let you down or broken your heart. when does that start becoming reality? and where does that innocent, "the world is so great" attitude go?

i like to believe people are "good". they are looking out for each other and honestly want to see people succeed. but that just isn't the case. there are people out there who bring guns to school and kill people, people out there who rip innocent people off and just are not very nice people.

and the "good" people aren't that good either, we all mess up, we all hurt people (intentionally or unintentionally) and we all need someone to save us. and daily, I start to realize that i NEED Jesus. through all the pain, betrayal, hurt and suffering, he is there, he is my rock, he is how i get through the day. and i haven't experienced that in so long--because i have been placing my trust/hope/joy in others- and continually get let down. and it feels so good to know that he is there, holding me, watching over me, and planning out the rest of my life- so i don't have to worry about it.

but it would be nice to go back to being 2 for a day, and getting to experience that "life is great, the world is great, and i have no cares" attitude

product of my mother.

went to my first kappa alumni association meeting tonight.

(wore jeans..this was a big no-no i guess. i'm sure the old ladies were not happy with me)

signed up to be communication chair.

(hoping to redeem myself for wearing jeans..)

realized..what? Did i really just sign up to do that?

(mental note, never wear jeans to a place where "ladies" will be- they don't like jeans)

yes. i did.

on another note...there is a hostage at the apartment complex down the road from me- and all these cops are outside.

welcome to my life. getting committed to things right away-and living in the hood.

just what i need.

friends. readers. whoever.

so i got the new sara bareilles cd on tuesday. Her first single "King of Anything" is great. I loved her first cd, and when I saw she was coming out with another, I got excited, and then when I read the track names, I got even more excited.. because just the titles told me I would relate to the album. they are as follows...

• 1. Kaleidoscope Heart
• 2. Uncharted
• 3. Gonna Get Over You
• 4. Hold My Heart
• 5. King Of Anything
• 6. Say You're Sorry
• 7. The Light
• 8. Basket Case
• 9. Let The Rain
• 10. Machine Gun
• 11. Not Alone
• 12. Breathe Again
• 13. Bluebird

I love the lyrics, she is so real, and so easy to relate to- and every time I listen to any of the songs--i'm like- I'VE BEEN THERE! I KNOW THAT FEELING! and it just makes the songs so much better. ugh, i just LOVE this CD..and it was exactly what I needed.

(yes, it is a chick singing about love and break ups and moving on and all that stuff, but she does it so nicely)

so go to itunes and listen to little snippits of it..and buy it. because it is that good... and if you are disappointed, then i'm sorry..just be thankful i didn't dedicate a post to miley cyrus and tell you to go listen to her CD.

timing.

isn't timing funny? it is something i will never understand. God's timing for things- it is so curiously exciting. (if that even makes sense).

like i am so curious about what his timing looks for my life, and i am excited to see what is going to happen in the future..get it?

but seriously. timing is everything, you have heard that before, right? Whether it is about relationships, cooking, eating, or even playing a simple game. if you don't hit it at the right time, then you lose.

God's timing-so often it seems unfair. why was it time for this young girl to die? or why wasn't the right time for me to get a job here? or why was it the right time for them to get married and not me?

I think people struggle with these questions so much as believers, and unbelievers. and it is hard for me to understand too- but today at church, they talked about hope.

and we should be so utterly amazed that a God who plans all these things, has a special timing for everyone and everything- and it is different for all. I should place my hope and trust in God, knowing he knows the right timing for me with whatever I want- relationships, jobs, etc. and that is what I should be focused on. Regardless of what I think is right for me, he KNOWS what is right for me, and that is so cool, ya know?

and I should focus on these things. and then, i should look at what I spend my time focusing on, and what idols are there, taking up my time. (and there are a lot.)

but i also think his timing is funny. cause, it is. and I think He sits up there, laughing when our timing is so different then his. because we think we know. haha.

*i realize this post probably makes no sense and it is just me thinking while typing, but whatever, no one reads this thing anyways, just putting my thoughts into words..or something.

but if you do read this, thanks!

^1-2 So if you're serious about living this new resurrection life with Christ, act like it. Pursue the things over which Christ presides. Don't shuffle along, eyes to the ground, absorbed with the things right in front of you. Look up, and be alert to what is going on around Christ—that's where the action is. See things from his perspective.

^3-4Your old life is dead. Your new life, which is your real life—even though invisible to spectators—is with Christ in God. He is your life. When Christ (your real life, remember) shows up again on this earth, you'll show up, too—the real you, the glorious you. Meanwhile, be content with obscurity, like Christ.

its like, you can never plan your life.

ok,

i have learned my lesson. i'll stop.

i had plans last year, graduate, get a job in this fun, new, exciting place, and start this new life, and be so not the person anyone expected me to be. take a leap of faith and just go somewhere not knowing anyone and go on this adventure. and those plans, nope. that did not happen.

i got a job in the one place i wasn't looking, i moved in with someone i knew, and in a city i grew up in. and i had all these new plans, to have a new sort of adventure... and then, just as i was starting to adjust its like,

woah, don't even think about it. ya know?

i know that life is always changing, and you are always going through times, good/bad/rough/exciting/new/same/etc... but sometimes, don't you ever think--life isn't fair. just flat out, isn't fair, not what you deserve, not what you expected, etc etc etc. but i am certain God put me right where i NEED to be, surrounded by the people who I need to be surrounded by. i have always felt so so so blessed by the friendships i have, and i am continued to be amazed by the support, love and loyalty of my friends. and I know that in these times when my plans are like way off then God's, he is just saying, dude(ette), let it go, i know what is best for you, and even if it hurts or is hard or is challenging or is not what you expected, I'm here, watching over you. Find peace, find assurance in that.

and this time, I am, and I hope that next time you are faced with some silly situation, or things don't work out perfectly, you just stop and think, maybe the plans i was making, wouldn't have worked out. and i still plan on having that new adventure, it will just happen, without my plans.

and the bible verse my dad made me memorize a couple years ago to get my christmas presents tells me just that, looks like it got me more then just christmas presents. it gives me hope and a future.

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

one week down.

friends,

i am now an adult

well kinda. i don't really feel like I am an adult until i start drinking coffee every morning, so i'm going to start. i'll let you know how that goes.

but my first week of work was successful! I really like my job! It is such a laid back atmosphere, and I think I will be kept busy most of the time. I have my own desk and computer and email and everything! the strangest thing is, at 5:00 (or 3:30 on fridays for a couple more weeks) you can just get up and leave. You don't have to be finished with what you are doing, you don't have to be dismissed by a teacher or anything, you just leave! It's so great. I take my lunch every day and somedays get up the courage to eat in the break room..and try to make friends. Haha. but i got this free cup today.

which i love. i know it's silly, but its a plastic cup with a plastic straw! I guess silly things get more exciting when you are an adult..or i am just still in college mode where anything i get that is free automatically goes up to the top of my favorite things list.

and this week i got to see brian. which was so great too. and smags my little sister is a kappa at arkansas!

so i started off my adult life with a great week. and it is weird not being back in manhattan, going to class but I LOVE IT. because school and tricia don't mix.

but working all day is tiring. and i go to bed very early every night. which is okay with me. for now.

thats all.

what I have been waiting for.

well, all the big things this summer have happened, I have moved, gone to weddings, visited texas, and started a new life in a city i have been in my whole life. but it is new and it is good.

and it is what I have been waiting for. Last year at this time, I was beyond excited to move into my own house for my last year of college. (Say it with me-- SENIOR YEAR) I had no clue what last year would bring, but I thought I was ready. I wasn't prepared for the Dark Cloud of Doom that lived over our house first semester. There were tears, anxiety, heartache and laughter. I learned a lot about trusting God during that semester, and it has brought me here today. I now city in my room in downtown Kansas City, ("The Hood" as my mother refers to it) which is the only place I knew I didn't want to be.. but randomly one night I applied for an internship here, and SURPRISE--God had other plans for me. He knows my heart, and he knows that this is the best place for me. Isn't God funny-- the one place I said I did not want to be-he puts me? But I have a peace about it. For the next year, at least. I am so excited to start working on Monday, waking up and having something to do, which has not been the case all summer. I can't wait to see what God has in store for me this year, what lessons he will teach me, but I hope and pray that I can just live like he wants me to. I can hear his voice and follow his leading. It will be an adjustment, it already has been, but it has been good. I hope the dark cloud of Doom doesn't return, and this time next year, I could be in a completely different city, and that is exciting--but I don't know what is going to happen.

all I know is that I am so excited to start work on monday.

and even more excited to see Brian after 9 weeks of him being in Africa.

Next week-will be a good week. I start life as an official grown up.

wish me luck.

life after kearney

well. the day is here. My official last day in Manhattan as a resident. (I plan on visiting.. so it is not my last day here ever..).

so you may ask..what does tricia do on her last day in Manhattan? Well, I am currently sitting at Radinas. Reading and writing this thing. Then I will go home, continue to pack/ clean and then.. who knows what. Haha. Not too exciting right?

but my life is about to change..

I am about to move in to a new apartment, in a place that is semi foreign to me. I am then going to start a job I know little about what I will be doing. Although I did get more of a glimpse this week as I talked to last years intern. And I am excited. I will revert back to my high school life where I had to get up early, shower and spend the whole day in one place, but I think it will be good. A struggle at first, working for 8 hours a day, but also a good change. Don't get me wrong, I loved college, and the freedom I had, and the going to class only a couple hours a day..(when I went to class) but I need to grow up. I need to figure out who I am, what God has placed me on this earth for, and how to show his love to people.

and I trust that this is exactly where God wants me to be. If you would have asked me 3 months ago, I would tell you there is no way I would be in Kansas City after I graduated, but, here I am..that is where I am going. and I feel at peace about it, because I know that things wouldn't have fallen into place like they have been if God wasn't in control, and every day, I let him be a little bit more in control. He knows what he is doing, I need to trust in him more.

but it is still weird, I feel like I should be thinking about what books I need to buy, what recruitment clothes I need, and preparing myself for recruitment itself, but I don't! I have moved on.

So as I sit in Radinas, proudly wearing my ALUMNI shirt, it hits me.. that's what I am, and alum, and I am ready for the next part of my life.

lebron is 25?

so he has made his decision. going to miami (yes, i hope the will smith song just started in your head)

and there are so many people that are so happy right now.

and so many people that are so sad. and burning his jersey...a little extreme.

remember when bob huggins left k-state? that was the first time i experienced heart ache. seriously. you can ask my mom and stepdad..that weekend i was so mad/sad. I had never been broken up with..but that weekend, driving home for easter, I got word that, yes Bob Huggins was leaving K-State...and i was pissed. I blared my angry taylor swift songs, and sped home. I got glares on i-70. this is a true story. and then i got to pay my toll, and the lady was like..oh did you hear about bob huggins? YES I DID. and i was mad. i still don't really like the guy. he is sketch. major.

and remember that time that KU lost to Northern Iowa this year? and it was the best day of my life over spring break? to see that many KU fans mad and sad and depressed. I LOVED it. I know, I am an awful person..but I'm sorry--i hate ku fans.

so i am here thinking. all these people, probably more people followed this in depth then followed the last election....what is important in our society? in our culture?

its sports. (this is why I am pursuing a career in sports marketin..JUST KIDDING. i just like it.)

its also pop culture and twilight and justin bieber..(no i didn't watch an E! special on him tonight...) that is where all the money in the world is. (ok, not the world. but a lot of money is in sports and entertainment)

this money isn't in schools, where the children of the future are being taught, it isn't in getting people jobs or improving the roads in missouri, it is giving all these famous people more money, so we, the normal americans can be entertained and not have to think about people who can't even make $3 a day. (yes my boyfriend is in Africa, and he tells me things like this, I will admit, I don't know much about all this stuff either)

why? Why do we let people earn this much money--for playing basketball? for playing baseball? for singing in a bird cage? (miley cyrus..shameful that i even mentioned that).

and why do people get so excited about it? (Myself included.) Why do I not get this excited or spend as much time with God. The GOD OF THE UNIVERSE wants to know me, spend time with me. but i don't get excited about it. I get more excited that Jacob Pullen was selected for the USA Men's Select team. This is something I have been struggling with. Zeal for God. Passion. Wanting to spend time with him. Wanting to learn more.

and its hard, its something I have to change the way I think about. I have to be in constant thought about how I can serve God and how to show his love to others during my day. I will wait all day in line for a KU KState Basketball game, but I won't let God spend time with me for 5 minutes a day? he created me out of nothing. and i don't give him the time of day. he should come first, and i always put him last..yet he still loves me? It is so hard to grasp..but I am thankful for it...and the reason I am telling you (my 3 readers) this, is so you can hold me accountable. and i can do the same for you. just think about it.. next time you get wrapped up in all this.

and know that i am also probably right there wrapped up with you.

growing up.

well. its happening. come party with me and mara at our new place

its scary, growing up. but i am getting ready...my past week included..

yeah! look who Katie ran into when getting our tickets? i know. i missed it. story of my life, but still!! AHHH

and

a nice bike ride and morning read here. peaceful.

and thats about it. not very exciting...hopefully your summer is great!

9 weeks.

well the time has come. follow brian as he is in africa!

as for me, here are some things to look forward to.

• kappa get together

• apartment searching

• toy story 3

• BACKSTREET BOYS CONCERT. seriously. i am going. hahaha. remember high school tricia? she is coming back for one night only. monday june 21. lucky you

• golfing.

• not sleeping in until 11...people do things early here in KC.

• lake for 4th of july.

• nashville? hopefully

• family trip to dallas. shopping for grown up clothes...exciting

• rochelles wedding

and then start work.

and then in 9 weeks, i will be a working graduate, see my boyfriend, and live with mara.

LETS DO THIS!

success.

so.

in this economy, i'd say i got a job.

technically an internship but from august to may, instead of school, i will be working for the NAIA!!!! I will be living somewhere here, with this great friend. i think God is going to use this experience to show me so much, and I am really excited to start this new chapter in my life. (i know, cliche) but really. It wasn't at all what or where I expected to be but I think this is what I am supposed to do. so for now, i will hang out with this guy for another week.

and that is what i have been doing.

oh and i went to the lake. and i loved it. and i love the lake. and it is so great.

and i am currently waiting for Glee to come on, so i am watching Americas Got Talent.

i don't think that talent was very good.

my life as of recently.

story of my life. but hopefully someone will need me.

on college humor. check.

and thats about it.

adventure.

so this whole year, i have been saying that i want an adventure for when i graduate. go somewhere, somewhere fun, exciting, full of unknowns and new people. but what i am slowly learning is that God has had me on an adventure this whole year.

i have lived with incredible girls, and gone through crazy times. fun times, where we laugh and dance, and horrible times where we cry and are mad. i have been on an emotional roller coaster the past couple of weeks because i don't know how to deal with all this chance, especially because i don't have change yet. i don't have a job, i don't have school, i just have me. and that is an adventure. I need to slow down, listen to God and figure out what he is telling me. and my idea of going somewhere new and crazy is looking more and more like it won't happen. but i'm okay with that.

i wanted so bad to do something that no one expected, move somewhere where i had this awesome job and start this new life. but do i want a new life? new friends? if there has been one thing God has consistently given me throughout my life, its good friends. Why would I run from that? Why would I just say, Oh thanks God, but i can find good friends in another city....no. i love my friends, i would be SO sad without them. and they are mostly living in Kansas City. so its looking more and more like that could be an adventure.

living in KC, not in southern joco. because i would rather live in a box then move back to southern joco...thats been my whole life. give me a cute little old apartment with character in downtown KC. give me my own space there. let me have an adventure. that way i can experience this adventure with my friends. people i love. people i am comfortable with. we can have an adventure together.

and maybe God has something great planned for me in KC. i'll just have to wait and see i guess. In his time he will tell me. i just hope it is soon. because it has been summer officially for like one day. and i got bored...maybe someone* is rubbing off on me.

*this someone gets restless and bored very easily, which is one of the things i like most about him.

there went college.

so its my last friday of my college career. and i have not had class on fridays all year. yet i am sitting in the library, surrounded by finance notes and getting more and more upset at them. because i don't like them, i don't think like them, and its making me mad.

i am about to have a break down in the middle of hale for the following reasons.

• i don't get finance, and if i don't get it, i will have to retake it and prolong graduation.

• people are leaving me. going to bigger and better things, kamp, africa, life etc.

• the thing i have been talking about all year, graduation, is next week. WHAT? its finally here and I am still lost.

• not only am i lost, but i am just now realizing i am also out of money.

its just a weird time. i don't know how to explain my feelings. i am so happy for my friend and their summer plans, but im still sad that i won't see them for months. maybe i will just live in my car and go visit them.

i guess i am going out in style here in Hale.

but i have loved college, and i don't think it has fully hit me how much i am going to miss it.

a minor freakout.

ahh.

im being emotional this week.

Is this what my life is going to be like in three weeks?

things are happening. school is ending. people are leaving. and i am not. i have not seen any glimpse of my future. i still have been applying for jobs, but never hearing anything back. yes, maybe i should have networked more but i don't even know if that would have helped.

my back is always tense

i am getting headaches like 394 times a day

and i think its because i am freaking out about the future....because pretty soon it will be NOW.

so i have started listening to every backstreet boy song to make me feel young again.

or something. i don't really think that is helping.

BAHHH is all i can do right now.

my old dream.

obviously, that dream is in the past. i am still trying to figure out my next dream though....

maybe i did pick the right major?

i hate the white sox. but this is good

it's complicated.

BAH! its spring! did it sneak up on you?

my life is soon coming to what i had been expecting all year long. graduation.

and no, i still don't know what i am doing. hence the title of this post. it's complicated.

it's complicated when people ask me what i am doing in may

it's complicated when people ask me what i want out of my life

it's complicated when you change your mind about things every hour and logic is different then feelings....

and

it's complicated to explain that i don't want to be in kansas city where my friends and family are.

for my birthday, i got a Garmin. this is part of the adventure--to go somewhere where i will actually need to use it, and not just use it because i have it (like i did tonight when i drove from KC to Manhattan. i can drive that with my eyes closed, but i love using new things!) and i do have this peace about my future, like i know God has something planned for me and he is going to show me so soon.

there are just so many things about this year that i didn't see coming and that have helped me understand myself a little more. and the fact that in one year, i will be in a completely different spot in my life, scares me--but one year ago i was in a whole different spot too and i'm fine.

so i will just keep living in this complicated life until things start to sort out.

and i will leave you with this. because it is simple. and not complicated.

march madness....

...it comes before april madness. but that is a different type of blog post..

spring break is over! oh no! where has time gone? soon it will be may and i will be on a break from school forever.. FOREVER. but you knew that.

over spring break i (i have realized i like to make lists..so that's what is about to happen now)

• worked baseball games in the freezing cold. not so happy about that.

• traveled down to arkansas and revisited my high school self with linds and emmy. great times are always had with them.

• went shopping. i forgot how much i love to shop. i don't do it much. but i was back in my element in joco and had to take advantage of it.

• went to the dr/dentist. dear doctor, i will never eat again because of your scale.

• watched so much basketball and LOVED it. Especially when KU LOST and KSTATE WON. and we are going to the SWEET FREAKING 16! and its so fun.

go here www.lgcollegesports.com and click ambassadors and then look for me! I am famous again!

• watched a dear friend get MARRIED. oh my goodness. another married friend. i am getting old.

• see JOHN MAYER live. which has been on my bucket list.*

so all in all, a pretty good senior year spring break. hope yours was too...

LOVE

*at the publication of this blog post i had not seen john mayer yet, but i doubt he could disappoint

kk inspired me to blog. and i am tired of studying

hello from hale.

I have been here for three days. and i feel like i still don't know half of what i am doing, but the answers come out right so i can't complain.

and i won't complain.

things that have happened to me recently.

• i got a haircut this morning. it's short. and sassy. watch out world.

• my dad called this morning saying he has a suite for the game tomorrow night. kansas city here i come.

• i got a job for three weeks with CBS Sports, doing viral marketing for the tournament. I will be doing things like taking pictures and videos of k-state fans doing crazy things like singing the fight song, etc. if you want to participate, please let me know.

• i got a traffic ticket* this is not something to brag about. but i thought you should know.

• my ipod hook up broke in my car, while i was getting my insurance out for my traffic ticket...i just thought about this and how it is going to stink when i drive to kc tomorrow and back by myself..i will count how many times i hear justin biebers "baby" on the radio and let you know.

so that is what has been happening in my life as of recently, thanks for caring!

*no i was not speeding--as many of you might think. it was because i turned left where i shouldn't have. stupid cops on foot..

senioritis.

Please note that FINAN 450 requires a grade of C or better for Outside Concentration.

ughhhhhhhhhhhh

brian moore. i need you. and i am calling you out on this blog so people can hold you accountable for me getting a good grade in finance.

on other notes. my metabolism is beginning to act like its older then it is. and i don't like it. aka. it has stopped working and i am falling into that "i better watch what i eat and maybe start working out mode"

this makes me think my body is growing up. and now i am going to have to too...

i don't wanna grow up...

but i do...

cheers to good friends.

things i am learning.

• its getting closer and closer to may, which means graduation, and i still am not sure what i want to do with my life...which is going to kick me in the butt.

• its getting closer and closer to may yet it is still SO COLD outside. and i am sick of it. and it puts me in a bad mood.

• i have had a mild case of senioritis for about 3 years and now it is getting bad. i don't know if i will try to cure it...nope i won't. which will probably contribute to me being kicked in the butt like number 1.

• senior year is all about memories. I don't care if i spend all my money or spend all my time on facebook- it is all about the people you spend your time with..right? when else can you just drive to oklahoma to see kstate play on a saturday, and spend the whole day in a car with three of your favorite guys in the world. when you work, you just can't do that.

• it really is all about the people in your life. and i have great people in my life. i love my friends, i really do. If God has blessed me in one part of my life consistently, it is with great friends. high school friends, super. and college friends, great. they are there for you when you want to cry, or have a dance party, or a venting session.

• sororities are good things. if you ever want a group of girls on your side of an issue, they will be. you don't even have to ask. they will just be on your side and make you feel like you are the best person in the world.

• the only thing i know about where i want to be after i graduate is not in kansas. so come visit where ever i end up.

ok bloggers. thanks for reading and learning.

my future?

Where Will The Jobs Be This Decade?

Let me review my options according to this list.

1. no, can't do that. too much school

2. i don't even know what that means...taking care of people at home? i don't have the patience for that

3. i think this is a possibility....but i tend to to think when people make stupid errors i start thinking "DO YOU FREAKING HAVE A BRAIN? so i would need to reevaluate Grace in my life.

4. i do have a certification in this from school this past summer. so this could work. just not my passion i don't tihnk.

5. see number 2. i think its the same...

6. I did this once. I hated it. people are snobby. Don't want to make a career out of it.

7. ummm i think i am better then this? don't they just type?

8. i will share with you a little secret..i kind of like accounting. I am not good at it..but i like when the numbers all work out. but this doesn't happen but 10% of the time i do the problems. so i don't see it as career choice.

9. once again, too much school/ not a good science body person

10. i like kids. i don't know what i would teach though..and my roommate who is going to be a great teacher is doubting herself, so i don't think i would be that good at it..

maybe i will just focus on this article instead?

http://www.theworkbuzz.com/employment-trends/office-romance/

first i have to get a job...

from me and brian.

as we sit here watching the super bowl. and before my battery dies, we wanted to update you readers.

things during the superbowl we have liked.

• the food. the KOX house made some delicious food for us. and fed us.

• the commercials, the biggest winner so far was the google commercial. all the girls loved it.

• b-mac. watching sports with him provides great fun.

• brian says- stealing sams seat so he could sit next to kk. ..but likes sitting next to me even better.

things we didn't like

• re-writing my cover letter, brian and kk did not like it. but i did

• the half time show, it wasn't that great

• brian missed the dessert, fail.

• b mo tried to brush the hair over b mac's hair, but b mac didn't like it. i don't know why (tricia) that sounds like it would be nice.

we hope everyone has enjoyed pigging out during this night. and you enjoyed us.

love,

brian and tricia

a commercial holiday.

well readers, i don't know if you are aware, but valentines day is coming up. and if i were writing this post a couple months ago, i would probably would be more bitter and such about relationships but right now, i can honestly say i am content at where i am.

but i still think this holiday is silly and if you love someone, why say it on this special day and not every day. but coming from a single, non bitter girl, if you are in a relationship, leave the PDA at a decent level during this time. for others sakes.

and boys, if you find yourself single during this month, and wish you weren't...well my only advice for you is to listen to all of Taylor Swifts songs and do exactly what she says. any girl would love that.

and i will leave you with this song, that pandora played for me this morning. its great.

thin mints are dangerous....

i just finished off a sleeve....

in other news. well what news do i have.

not much.

so that is where i am going to leave you. sorry i have nothing fun to say.

i forgot! I'm famous!

http://www.kcfreepress.com/videos/2009/dec/24/30/

where i have been.

break is almost over. and i have been so many places.

like to memphis, miami, nassau and back to kc with my lovely kappas. it was so fun, i would recommend everyone go on a trip to some place with a big group of your friends. girls, i would say do it with only girls. leave those stinky boys behind.

then i was in kc for christmas and got to hang out with my great family. and that was superb.

then i came to manhattan for new years and enjoyed bringing in the new year with my friends.

then i went on a road trip. which was a blast. on this road trip to colorado, we had many new experiences and adventures. which included:

• driving through the snow for brian to get to manhattan

• traveling through kansas in 0 degree weather with a car packed full of blankets and a shovel* incase we got trapped

• staying in st. francis with mckenzie.

• traveling through three states to get to dinner with mckenzie.

• riding in a plane with mckenzie as our pilot

• traveling to colorado to get to see lebron.

• going on an adventure to find a candy shop. which we succeeded at..thanks to me

• driving back to kansas while listening to the kstate game on the radio. like old times.

• eating at a great restaurant to end the trip.

going on road trips is one of the best things i think. you get to know people so well and come up with so many great memories.

*the shovel was in my car, and i had no clue it was there ..until i was unpacking it and saw it. and asked brian...why did you bring a shovel?? in case we got stuck? hahaha. always be prepared.

and on saturday i will be going down to oklahoma city with a whole new group of people to watch beasley.

i love my life.

but not school

enjoy the last days of break.

its 2010.

well the new year has come. and it has been full of exciting times. for example this:

that is crazy! i love it.

but i am back in manhattan, sitting in the new radinas, which is quite cozy, but a little disappointing cause they don't serve sandwiches yet. i told myself i would start applying for jobs, but i haven't done that yet. not shocking.

but being back in manhattan is so great, except for the lack of friends here, but its ok. because i am enjoying the peacefulness. i hope to make it to colorado on thursday, but surprise there is going to be 8 inches of snow on wednesday. upsetting.

but i am enjoying my last break. and can't believe that i have made it to 2010. it seems like just last week we were all freaking out about Y2K!

i hope this year will bring a great adventure (insert steven curtis chapman song..i know you are starting to sing it in your head) and a new life.

love from radinas on a very chili day.