life after college.

well for all of you youngens who are still in college, let me give you a glimpse of what life is going to be like when you are out of there.

you make friends in high school, then you all go your separate ways and go on to college, and make new friends (and some are lucky enough to keep the old too) and then everyone graduates and gets jobs and then starts yet another chapter of life. and you have to make new friends...

while working. while cooking dinner every night. while paying bills. while doing all this other stuff that you forget about when you live in the bubble of college life, where everyone lives within 5 minutes of each other, and where you are only in class (if you even go) for like..not that long.

and then all the sudden, you have to adjust to working 40 hours a week..in a cube or office or whatever. and you realize that college didn't even prepare you for what you are doing now. you don't have any guidelines or due dates, you just do stuff. and you get stuff done if you know how or not..you just figure it out.

and in college, you forget that there are people older and wiser that are not professors.. and all the sudden they become your co-workers. and you are trying to juggle making new relationships while keeping up with your friends from the past..and it is hard. it is exhausting. but worth it.

i guess, just be prepared..life is hard. and its easy to think "oh after college, i will get a job, and all my friends will get jobs, and we will live by each other and it will be so great". because it doesn't really happen like that- people go where there is work- and even Kansas City is big enough not to see some of the people you love the most!

but don't fret- if i can make new friends- so can you! it has been an adventure, starting new with people- explaining salad bowl to them and see friendships forming right there! and getting involved in a church that is close has been incredible. and i am looking forward to all the relationships that will come from that- and all that God is going to teach me (and has taught me already).

and then i start thinking..ok, in 7 months, i will find myself unemployed. i will have the opportunity to go anywhere--but by that time will I want to? it seems so exciting to go somewhere big and fun..but then if i didn't know anyone there- wouldn't i get so lonely? would i want to have to start fresh and find new friends again? it's hard to do! so I can't think about it. I just have to trust that God has a plan for me, and it will work out in the end..and if it is hard, i will just have to remember "that in all things, God works for the good of those who love them" (Romans 8:28).

so, my advice friends- be prepared to make new friends, to start new relationships, and adjust to working. it's tough..and at first i was exhausted and just came home and felt like i would never have enough energy.. but you get over that and find yourself just as busy as you were in college.

and i'm sure once i have made all these new friends, God will throw something at me that I would have never seen coming--but that's why he is so great. because it will be exactly what i need.

take me back to when i was two.

remember when you were little and played dress up and make believe and thought everything in the world was great? i can't help but think about this while i babysit one of the cutest little girls in the world. she get so excited about everything, it is so great to watch. but when does that stop? when do you start realizing that there are people in the world that are just out there to make money and don't care what people think of them. when do you realize that all this emotional baggage you carry around is because of how you have been brought up and how people have let you down or broken your heart. when does that start becoming reality? and where does that innocent, "the world is so great" attitude go?

i like to believe people are "good". they are looking out for each other and honestly want to see people succeed. but that just isn't the case. there are people out there who bring guns to school and kill people, people out there who rip innocent people off and just are not very nice people.

and the "good" people aren't that good either, we all mess up, we all hurt people (intentionally or unintentionally) and we all need someone to save us. and daily, I start to realize that i NEED Jesus. through all the pain, betrayal, hurt and suffering, he is there, he is my rock, he is how i get through the day. and i haven't experienced that in so long--because i have been placing my trust/hope/joy in others- and continually get let down. and it feels so good to know that he is there, holding me, watching over me, and planning out the rest of my life- so i don't have to worry about it.

but it would be nice to go back to being 2 for a day, and getting to experience that "life is great, the world is great, and i have no cares" attitude

lebron is 25?

so he has made his decision. going to miami (yes, i hope the will smith song just started in your head)

and there are so many people that are so happy right now.

and so many people that are so sad. and burning his jersey...a little extreme.

remember when bob huggins left k-state? that was the first time i experienced heart ache. seriously. you can ask my mom and stepdad..that weekend i was so mad/sad. I had never been broken up with..but that weekend, driving home for easter, I got word that, yes Bob Huggins was leaving K-State...and i was pissed. I blared my angry taylor swift songs, and sped home. I got glares on i-70. this is a true story. and then i got to pay my toll, and the lady was like..oh did you hear about bob huggins? YES I DID. and i was mad. i still don't really like the guy. he is sketch. major.

and remember that time that KU lost to Northern Iowa this year? and it was the best day of my life over spring break? to see that many KU fans mad and sad and depressed. I LOVED it. I know, I am an awful person..but I'm sorry--i hate ku fans.

so i am here thinking. all these people, probably more people followed this in depth then followed the last election....what is important in our society? in our culture?

its sports. (this is why I am pursuing a career in sports marketin..JUST KIDDING. i just like it.)

its also pop culture and twilight and justin bieber..(no i didn't watch an E! special on him tonight...) that is where all the money in the world is. (ok, not the world. but a lot of money is in sports and entertainment)

this money isn't in schools, where the children of the future are being taught, it isn't in getting people jobs or improving the roads in missouri, it is giving all these famous people more money, so we, the normal americans can be entertained and not have to think about people who can't even make $3 a day. (yes my boyfriend is in Africa, and he tells me things like this, I will admit, I don't know much about all this stuff either)

why? Why do we let people earn this much money--for playing basketball? for playing baseball? for singing in a bird cage? (miley cyrus..shameful that i even mentioned that).

and why do people get so excited about it? (Myself included.) Why do I not get this excited or spend as much time with God. The GOD OF THE UNIVERSE wants to know me, spend time with me. but i don't get excited about it. I get more excited that Jacob Pullen was selected for the USA Men's Select team. This is something I have been struggling with. Zeal for God. Passion. Wanting to spend time with him. Wanting to learn more.

and its hard, its something I have to change the way I think about. I have to be in constant thought about how I can serve God and how to show his love to others during my day. I will wait all day in line for a KU KState Basketball game, but I won't let God spend time with me for 5 minutes a day? he created me out of nothing. and i don't give him the time of day. he should come first, and i always put him last..yet he still loves me? It is so hard to grasp..but I am thankful for it...and the reason I am telling you (my 3 readers) this, is so you can hold me accountable. and i can do the same for you. just think about it.. next time you get wrapped up in all this.

and know that i am also probably right there wrapped up with you.

best friend.

 i have been a bad best friend.

and it is going to change.

this year, i want Jesus to be my best friend. because he won't leave me, or hurt me, or not be there for me.

to a new year, and a new best friend.