reflections on the past year

I swore off blogging after I had to read my blogs in front of my coworkers and the interweb..but I was lying in bed (not sleeping, cause thats what I do) thinking about things..and I just had to share my wisdom to my readers (do I still have any?!).

I subscribe to this thing called Timehop Abe, and it sends you your tweets from a year ago. A year ago today, I was waiting for a call, about a job. I had gone on an interview, and I was having anxiety attacks about my future. I got a call almost a year ago today that turned my life around. I got a job, in Norman, Oklahoma.

I've been in Norman for almost a year--which is crazy. I am not in job searching mode after a year, I don't have to move, this is my life. My life is in Norman, Oklahoma..even a year ago, I would have told you there is NO way that would be possible.

And after a year of life in Norman, it is starting to feel at home here. Let me tell you, it is HARD to move somewhere knowing no one. You have the chance to become whoever you want to be. It is extremely hard to meet people when you don't live in a big city (I'm assuming if I lived in Chicago or KC or somewhere, it would be easier to meet young professionals, but I could be wrong.) No, in Norman, if you look like a college student (which I do), then people assume you are (which I am not.) There were and probably will be, weekends when the only other human I talk to is the cashier at Target. There are days when sit on the couch for hours, because I don't have anything else to do, or anyone else to see---and then there are weekends when I am really busy-doing random things.

I was so lucky to have so many people come visit me over the past year. Family, college friends, NAIA friends, it was so great to have people excited about my new life and want to experience it. It really helped get through the winter months.

I spent a year church hopping. I have finally found a community that I feel comfortable in, and excited about. That is a HUGE blessing. There is so much God is doing in Norman, and I can finally feel apart of it, and help out with it.I am really excited to see where Providence Road will lead me.

I am still single, which I am 99.5% okay with. I'm not going to lie, there is .05% (okay, lets be honest, probably more)..that wishes I had someone to come home to at night. Someone that understood what I was going through day to day, and helping me through it. (and once in a while cooking me dinner...#dreaming). Part of me honestly wonders if I will meet someone in Norman and never leave Oklahoma...but I'm not going to worry about it. A lot of times when I talk to people, I feel like I am behind in life because I am not married-but inside, I know that I am not behind, and God is preparing someone for me right now. I just have to be patient. (which I am not).

This year has been hard, not the hardest year of my life, but hard. I have learned so much about myself, who I am, what I am good at, what my idols are, my insecurities, and I have grown. You can't not grow when you up and move to somewhere random. I am so thankful for all the experiences I have had over the past year, and I look forward to seeing what happens this upcoming year.

thanks for reading..whoever still does.

i knew i should have taken this blog down..

well, if you a reader of this blog, you should look forward to this:

http://www.humayliation.com/

(where i will dramatically read posts  from this blog. start sending in the money)

single life.

i would like to start off by saying i do not have the crazy. i am a normal, 23 year old girl trying to figure out what things mean. and this is my story.

i went out one night with a friend. we went to a club. we danced. (obviously). two stepping, wobbling, dougieing etc. i had some drinks in me, i won't lie, but just a couple...no signs of Katricia.

saw a guy dancing with some friends. this is one thing i find extremely attractive...a guy who isn't afraid to dance. so, me and my friend went up and started dancing with him. (this friend of mine is really good about just going up to people, she doesn't care what they think, this is a good type of friend to have when you are single).

dancing boy asked me to two step. i said yes. (i had learned to two step the night before with another dude, we will call him 'abercrombie'. cause, who wears abercrombie graphic tees these days?). anyways. i am not the best two stepper. but me and dancing dude had a good time.

after the song was over, we went separate ways. kept running into each other the rest of the night, danced a couple more times. started talking. ended the night with him giving me his card...which i put in my back pocket and went our separate ways. ran in to abercrombie on the way out. mistake.

but then i left with dancing dudes name and number in the back of my pocket. so the curiosity got the best of me, and i found him on facebook. he seemed like a decent guy, so i added him.

we started chatting and stuff, and met back up the following weekend at the club. we danced some more. it was still fun. then the next day we hung out. i guess that is what you call a date. when i realized that, i went into freak out mode. i don't know what to do on dates?! is that what i just did? we went out to dinner, played wii and watched a movie...i guess, yes, that counts as a date.

then we kept texting/talking etc., and went to a thunder game. it was still fun but i am still not sure what i think about this dude. in the past, i have started dating guys so fast into realizing i liked them...and that didn't really work out. I think that now i am out of college, the pressure is off a little. i am now working, don't have all the time in the world to hang out with someone else and don't live 5 minutes from everyone. dating is something you kinda just do when you are my age i suppose, which i am learning. Living in a new place with people who are 30 and still single has made me realize that i am not weird for not being married at 23.

and now that i am going on dates with someone, (so that is "dating", right?) i think i am not ready for a relationship. i like being single. i like doing whatever i want whenever i want it. yes, i do miss someone to cuddle with on the couch and someone to kiss, but i still am trying to figure out what i want in someone else and i don't really know how to date, but i guess i am figuring it out. I want to take this time to do a really good job at work, and to further my career and to become a strong women who doesn't NEED a man. I will have the rest of my life with someone, and i don't want to rush that. i want to make sure that whoever i spend the rest of my life is someone i WANT to spend the rest of my life with..i want it to be my best friend. and that is going to take time, and i am learning to be okay with that.

(i would like to note that i wrote this while watching the bachelor. those girls have the crazy.)