bottoms up to 2010

as i sit here, cuddled up in my favorite k-state sweatshirt (duh, it's winter, so i have it on all the freaking time), i can't help but think about the past year of my life. 2010. it had its ups and downs, like all years do- but overall, i can say that i learned a lot about who i am. i have now been graduated for 7 months, and i honestly have forgotten college life. it is so great to have a routine, and the weeks go by so quickly. i am learning SO much at work, and I get to do things i really enjoy doing.

while i am often envious of my friends back at k-state, that they get to go to games/all live within 5 minutes of each other, i am starting to realize that that chapter of my life is over. and the next one is just beginning. people around me are growing up, getting married, moving all over and becoming real functioning members of society.

in 2010 i went through joy, stress, heartbreak, unhappiness, confusion, and so much more. and i look forward to what 2011 is going to bring. there is so much unknown in my life, but when i think about it, the more i think about how God knows exactly what my life will entail. he knows what is going to come in the future, and he is preparing me for it with every life step i take.

and now i am watching the scene in chronicles of narnia and they are about to kill aslan. and it is such an incredible portrayal of what Jesus did for us. and it is beautiful.

peace out homeboys and here is to 2011.

just what i need.

friends. readers. whoever.

so i got the new sara bareilles cd on tuesday. Her first single "King of Anything" is great. I loved her first cd, and when I saw she was coming out with another, I got excited, and then when I read the track names, I got even more excited.. because just the titles told me I would relate to the album. they are as follows...

• 1. Kaleidoscope Heart
• 2. Uncharted
• 3. Gonna Get Over You
• 4. Hold My Heart
• 5. King Of Anything
• 6. Say You're Sorry
• 7. The Light
• 8. Basket Case
• 9. Let The Rain
• 10. Machine Gun
• 11. Not Alone
• 12. Breathe Again
• 13. Bluebird

I love the lyrics, she is so real, and so easy to relate to- and every time I listen to any of the songs--i'm like- I'VE BEEN THERE! I KNOW THAT FEELING! and it just makes the songs so much better. ugh, i just LOVE this CD..and it was exactly what I needed.

(yes, it is a chick singing about love and break ups and moving on and all that stuff, but she does it so nicely)

so go to itunes and listen to little snippits of it..and buy it. because it is that good... and if you are disappointed, then i'm sorry..just be thankful i didn't dedicate a post to miley cyrus and tell you to go listen to her CD.

i want him.

future husband. i want this

so start learning.

serious time.

every once in a while a serious blog post happens. so get ready.

the enemy is so active, it scares me. just last night i had a dream and in it, a person who i consider to know me almost better then anyone else, told me (in my dream) that i wasn't special. he told me the reason we weren't together anymore and wouldn't ever be, was because i wasn't special, and i shouldn't get a high head that i am anything worth anything to anyone. now this was a dream, but i woke up and it was real. i felt hurt by it. just writing this brings tears to my eyes. I woke up feeling worthless and unloveable. i already have a lot of pain from this person, not necessarily his fault, but this adds to it, and it wasn't even him saying it. it was the enemy attacking me during one of my favorite things to do-sleep. not fair. so i started thinking, and i am doing a bible study with a friend and the verse we are memorizing goes like this: in three different ways:

Now therefore, if you will indeed obey my voice and keep my covenant, you shall be(A) my treasured possession among all peoples, for(B) all the earth is mine;

If you will listen obediently to what I say and keep my covenant, out of all peoples you'll be my special treasure. The whole Earth is mine to choose from, but you're special:

Now if you will obey me and keep my covenant, you will be my own special treasure from among all the peoples on earth; for all the earth belongs to me.

I have to keep saying this over and over in my head. I am special to the GOD OF THE UNIVERSE. he loves me. and it makes me feel great inside. i can no longer think of things said to me in the past, and in time i have to forgive the person who said them to me, and it will take a while, because deep down, i'm hurt by him but i know that God loves me and wants to hold me tight, forever. and i'm going to let him.

go out and be God's special treasure.