serious time.

every once in a while a serious blog post happens. so get ready.

the enemy is so active, it scares me. just last night i had a dream and in it, a person who i consider to know me almost better then anyone else, told me (in my dream) that i wasn't special. he told me the reason we weren't together anymore and wouldn't ever be, was because i wasn't special, and i shouldn't get a high head that i am anything worth anything to anyone. now this was a dream, but i woke up and it was real. i felt hurt by it. just writing this brings tears to my eyes. I woke up feeling worthless and unloveable. i already have a lot of pain from this person, not necessarily his fault, but this adds to it, and it wasn't even him saying it. it was the enemy attacking me during one of my favorite things to do-sleep. not fair. so i started thinking, and i am doing a bible study with a friend and the verse we are memorizing goes like this: in three different ways:

Now therefore, if you will indeed obey my voice and keep my covenant, you shall be(A) my treasured possession among all peoples, for(B) all the earth is mine;

If you will listen obediently to what I say and keep my covenant, out of all peoples you'll be my special treasure. The whole Earth is mine to choose from, but you're special:

Now if you will obey me and keep my covenant, you will be my own special treasure from among all the peoples on earth; for all the earth belongs to me.

I have to keep saying this over and over in my head. I am special to the GOD OF THE UNIVERSE. he loves me. and it makes me feel great inside. i can no longer think of things said to me in the past, and in time i have to forgive the person who said them to me, and it will take a while, because deep down, i'm hurt by him but i know that God loves me and wants to hold me tight, forever. and i'm going to let him.

go out and be God's special treasure.