i refuse to settle.

on a job i hate

on a man that isn't worth it

on a life full of things i am not happy with.

because i am good enough.

for the job i love

for a man that loves me the way God made me

for a life that is full of happiness and success.

i refuse to let the fact that i am moving back home tell me that i am not good enough.

and i am thankful that i have parents that will welcome me back, and encourage me to keep pursuing the life i deserve.

and i know, that eventually, i will look back at this time and know that the path i took only made me stronger.

what would you do?

what would you do if you applied to lots of jobs but still don't have one, your current job ends august 31st, your lease ends august 31st and you don't really want to stay in the city you are in? also, your mom has been counting down the days until she is an empty nester..and moving back in isn't really something you want to do..

please. i would love to know..not like i am in this situation..at all...

doctors

remember that one time i got food poisoning and the bill was so expensive?

it was then when i decided doctors are over rated. yeah sure, i probably would have been found dead on my couch if i didn't go..but that is besides the point.

then i couldn't hear out of both of my ears ...so i gave in and went to the minute clinic. they misdiagnosed me.

so then i gave in a week later and went to the real doctor and they fixed my ears. but still, it was expensive.

so now. i have been sick for a week..and i refuse to go to the doctor. stubborn? yes. miserable? absolutely. but they aren't taking my money.

timeline of being sick:

last thursday: woke up at 8:20. slept through both my alarms. throat killing me. decided i must be getting sick. went home from work early and slept.

last friday: still sick. didn't stay out late and partied... tried to get better, throat still killing me.

saturday: woke up feeling slightly better, but not 100%. went to a wedding. danced too much.

sunday: woke up with no voice. scared little kids at church with my lack of voice. slept most of the day

monday: went to work. no voice still. people were all like "why are you here? go home!" but i didn't. i hate missing work, i feel like i am letting people down. had emotional breakdown when i got home not about just being sick, but about my life mom made me stay home the next day

tuesday: didn't get out of bed until 5pm. (seriously)

wednesday: went to work, thought i was feeling up to it. lies. came home early and slept. and now my ears are starting to hurt. ahhh

which leads me to right now. here i am. my nose is all dry. my trashcan is all full of kleenex and i have large amounts of dayquil/nyquil on me at all times.

hopefully it is almost over. and maybe next time i won't be so stubborn and go to the doctor at the first sign of sickness.

such is my life. jealous?

dear people who's lives look like they are perfect to the world...

please have a breakdown in public so us who's lives aren't perfect know that you lives aren't so great either.

love,

a person's who's life isn't perfect.

aka i just had a breakdown in a public place and it was embarrassing and i want to know that it happens to everyone.

love again,

#soontobejobless,homeless,andhopeless

yes, i just hashtagged in a blog. but i don't care, i've got bigger problems. (see above)

edgy.

well. another 3 jobs applied for. I am getting tired of all this applying. I just want to hear back from someone and get an interview! Maybe my cover letter isn't steller? you think that is my problem?! Anyone want to read it for me?...

Anyways, as I keep applying for jobs, I am getting sad I am going to leave the NAIA. I like it there. I like the people I work with.Last week was the NAIA National Convention in KC and so it was another 5 solid days of working long hours, but I loved it. I loved getting to serve people, I loved getting to hang out with the staff, and I loved getting to meet membership. I didn't care that I was getting up at 7am and not getting home until midnight, or that I didn't see my roommate for 3 days cause I left before she got up and got home after she went to bed. but she is the best roommate cause she bought me new milk after mine went old so i could eat breakfast in the morning. she ROCKS.
But yes, I will miss the other interns and young'ons. we have started to really bond, get to know each other and have fun, outside of work.

i even got those silly boys to dance with me. #winning.

Someone once told me they thought I could work anywhere, as long as I enjoyed the people I work with. I think I could see that. I have been applying all over the place (add LSU, Marquette, and Boston U to the map). And I am not worried. I think that God knows what he is doing and is going to send me to exactly the right place. where I will be pulled in new ways, I will grow and learn so much and continue to do what I love. I really think I have found my passion--who would have known it would be working in College Athletics!? It all started with yearbook in high school- sports editor 2 years in a row thank you very much.
We had a panel of past and current student athletes at the Convention Kickoff and one of the current athletes said "they say college is about finding yourself, but i believe it is about creating yourself" and i think that is true, and no, i am not in college anymore, but i am still creating myself.

and i am pretty awesome, just saying.

clearly.

jobsearch2011

job search 2011 has begun.

wish me luck.

realizations.

i worked 31 basketball games in 6 days.

realized i miss working basketball games.

must find job where i can work games.

every college that has a marketing opening..here i come.